Life goes on; or it doesn't
08.05.2009 - 19.05.2009 24 °C
After a couple of days spent with my son Schaun fishing I hopped a plane for Newmarket Ontario, my home. Three months seems like long time when you are traveling. It's not so long when you are in the humdrum of the daily working life.
I loved coming home; loved seeing my beautiful lady Jenna, my friend Ron picking me up from the airport, the call from my daughter Erin wanting to see me, the neighbours asking me how it was, going to Karate, all the invites. Some things change; some for the worse. A good friend; his cancer back, out of options, almost out of time. I feel guilty feeling so good. So many wonderful things have happened to me; new friends, new sights to see and recount, old friends and relatives renewed. I've said goodbye to others; father, mother, uncles and aunts, even my own daughter. It doesn't really matter what deals you try to make or how much you miss the ones you love. It all works out the same. They're gone you're still here. It's like waving goodbye from the back of a train as it pulls out of the station and you know you'll never see that person again. The spark, the light they bring into your life is lost, sinking over the horizon of time. I sit with my friend John. In better times he would say, "Call me Johnny" because he's that kind of guy. He's my friend because; he's honest, cheerful and does not have a malicious bone in his body. He makes me happy; and now I'm pissed that he is going to leave me. A little selfish you might think, but I can't help being mad at him for leaving. I know that trying to do deals with the Almighty doesn't work. I tried that with my lovely daughter Brenda. I tried right up until the end. There are no deals. Miracles only happen in stories.
Perhaps the real miracle is that we get a chance at all. We all get a chance to hang out on this wonderfully beautiful ball of mud. We get the opportunity to meet interesting people, see fascinating places. We can get on the train of life. I don't know when or where my last station will be. I just hope I don't make too many people sad when they think of leaving me behind. Because, I think I'm going on another trip. Even if I'm only coming back as another raindrop splashing into a puddle. I'll do my best to enjoy the trip down. P